Acknowledging the Hidden Struggles

Motherhood is often portrayed as a time of joy and fulfilment, but behind the smiles and tender moments lies a harsh reality. Prenatal mood and anxiety disorder encompasses all mental health symptoms during pregnancy and postpartum.

According to a report from KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital, a 47% increase in postnatal depression was registered between April 2021 to March 2022. Because of the negative effects of untreated depression during pregnancy and after childbirth, maternal stress may impair mother’s ability to care for their children. This has a pervasive tendency as children’s emotional and cognitive development are affected as well as the well-being of the family.

 

Perinatal Disorders are not Character Flaws or Weaknesses 

It is important for mothers and family members to understand that perinatal disorders are not character flaws or weaknesses. Anyone can experience mental struggles; it is both common but treatable.

Interestingly, perfectionism can be a trigger and an obstacle to prevent seeking help. Many struggle with letting go their need for perfectionism, so we need to educate and reassure them that it is no judgement in doing things minimally for their children.

Mothers who are mentally vulnerable may experience problems with daily functioning, which could have a negative effect on their ability to develop bonds with their children. In severe cases, some may be at risk of having suicidal or self-harm thoughts, that the CDC reveals to be the leading cause for maternal suicide as reported.

 

Our client’s story: It’s Okay to Not be Okay

Cherilyn Gan, a young mum of two kids under three, experienced many terrifying thoughts that may seem shocking for someone who has just welcomed her little bundle of joy. Cherilyn experienced a side of her that she had never known existed. She struggled to play with her children joyfully and wholeheartedly and would occasionally explode in 'mom rage' in response to very normal toddler tantrums.

In some of her unpredictable episodes, she believed that her family would be better off without her, and her children could get a better mom if she was out of the picture. Thankfully, she reached out to Clarity for help before it was too late and was connected to Senior Mental Health Counsellor, Joyce Charley, whom she saw for two years. Joyce helped Cherilyn gain a new perspective, understand the importance of self-care and realise that asking for help is actually a strength. 
 
During Cherilyn’s recovery journey, she was affirmed of two truths:

It’s okay to not be okay.
It’s okay to ask for help.

(Read more: A letter to Mamas who are struggling: It's Okay to Not Be Okay)

 

Empowering Mothers with Self-Care

Mothers are known for their selfless dedication to their children's well-being, often neglecting their own self-care in the process. It is essential for mothers to understand that their mental health matters, and self-care is not selfish but a vital necessity. One key aspect of maternal self-care is recognizing the importance of seeking professional help, where they will be offered a safe and non-judgmental space to explore their emotions, cope with challenges, and develop effective coping strategies. 

The transition to motherhood can be overwhelming and could cause feelings of inadequacy. Fathers can also struggle with postnatal depression too. Clarity Singapore provides psychotherapy services for Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders in the community, we also provide valuable psychoeducation to support new parents' understanding of their mental health conditions.

 

WalkforClarity: Healthy Mind & Body

Clarity Singapore is organising a virtual walkathon #WalkforClarity. The 1-month event aims to inspire individuals, families and communities to prioritise a holistic wellbeing. We can foster a nurturing environment where seeking therapy is less stigmatised, and everyone is empowered to take proactive steps towards a healthier life.

 
Joachim Toh, Executive Director of Clarity Singapore shares, “It is crucial that we recognise our mental health deserves the same attention and care as our physical health, as an integral part of overall wellbeing. Embracing our mental health is a global concern that affects people from all walks of life. Every one of us has to strive to foster a nurturing and supporting environment without fear of judgement or stigmatisation.”

 

Conclusion:

The time to prioritize maternal mental health is now! It is a collective responsibility that we can all acknowledge the hidden struggles, support mental health initiatives, build supportive communities, educating healthcare professionals – we can create a society where every mother feels valued, and equipped to navigate the challenges of motherhood while maintaining her mental well-being. 

Register now for #WalkforClarity to walk for your mental and physical health. Together, we can take action and ensure that no suffers alone in silence due to mental health conditions.

 

By Joyce Clarley